Introduction

One of the main searches in our life, we can easily spend our entire lifetime on this quest if not done with a few main ingredients. You could walk right by your soul mate once and never have another chance if you’re not either in the right point in your life or just extremely lucky.

Things You’ll Need

• patience
• love
• understanding
• honesty
• selflessness
• earnesty

You may think that the number one grounds for change on a subject of this matter would involve the changes another would make for you, i.e. Give you a chance with them, view you as desirable, etc. The fact of the matter is that it’s the exact opposite. The first step is an ecumenical one in that though it is the first mindset you must establish. Once established you may immediately move on whether you do so in a matter of minutes or it could take the work of several weeks or months. However it’s not a true step in that while you may move on from the consecutive steps, this one is a step you must constantly be returning to all throughout this process, and ultimately your life. That’s why I call this step the Blanket Step. It covers this entire process from the moment you realize what you want in life is worth self-sacrifice until the end of your life.

Blanket Step: Be willing to self-examine yourself free of any sort of bias.

It doesn’t matter if you feel any part of you physically is ugly or beautiful. It’s a completely internal examination of oneself in which you can never tell yourself that you are a certain way due to any external influence.

Step One

NEVER lie to yourself.

Whether or not you believe in any sort of spiritual beings that have some sort of absolute knowledge of your inner workings, there is one person we can all agree does in fact have the ability toward true insight into us. That person is ourselves. It is not only entirely possible to have a misconstrued view of ourselves, but it is quite common in one aspect or another of all of our lives. Even though doing so is a tactic we use to shield ourselves from some portion of a harsh reality, lying to oneself is about the stupidest thing we human beings have ever thought up. Therefore, step one is a conscientious and ever-constant quest from now, until we meet our end.

Step Two

Seek true beauty

If you want to be able to convince yourself and Angelina Jolie that you are each other’s soul mates by reading this advice column: Stop now, go look at yourself in the mirror, and slap yourself. Afterwards if you still wish to continue, go back to step one and begin reading, and this time comprehend the words. Remember, this is how to find your soul mate, this isn’t how to invent your soul mate. Now that we’re not lying to ourselves, look at your flaws using the blanket step. There’s no such thing as a perfect person physically, mentally, spiritually, socially or otherwise. Where else in life do you compare the negatives of one object to the positives of another? You’re immediately dooming the former.
Say for example you are comparing two flowers. Lets take roses and lilies. You immediately preferred one to the other, but think about this carefully: Can you say that everybody has the exact same preference? Absolutely not. If examined closely and intimately from every aspect, despite the fact they are both generally the same in that they are flowers, they are nothing alike. sure they have similarities, but think of structure, color, fragrance, even exact molecular alignment. They are similar, and maybe even nearly identical if you compare them to a rock, but when compared to each other they are very different. The same thing could be said about people, all you can really decide on is your particular preference. No one is alike enough to be considered superior or inferior, all you really have is preference. That being kept in mind, seek a person’s beauty, don’t compare them to others because it doesn’t truly work like that. All you can really find is your preference and there’s no point in becoming bitter towards someone just because a person is not similar to your preference, or you are not one of theirs. Once you feel every person is a valid as the next, and dare I say, as valid as you, you may start to see a lot more beauty in others that you never noticed before. However, more importantly, you may see a lot more beauty and validity in yourself. When you know that you don’t have to view things a certain way, simply because others want you to, then millions of opportunities open to you. Seek to find true beauty in yourself, because you can’t really compare one person to the next, only have your own preference.
Seek to find true beauty in others, concern yourself with what’s important to you, but let them be what they are.

Step Three

Never lie to your partner

The main problem with relationships that don’t work is that one or both persons involved either couldn’t accept or simply looked past each other’s flaws. Perhaps you weren’t being honest with each other and simply wanted something out of a brief relationship. That’s fine, if it’s completely mutual, but when you must lie to your partner or yourself in order to get some small happiness, the bigger things in life become so much harder to get.

Here is something to remember: If you lie to yourself or your partner you will NOT have a soul mate.

If you are not only completely honest with them and step two is followed, there suddenly becomes absolutely no reason to lie to one another. Have faith in your partner and you can expect them to have faith in you. Suspicion of a partner leaves you no room to protest when they are suspicious of you. Lying to them leaves you no right to expect them not to lie to you. Flaws in your relationship start with you.
Life is good when you always have the strong foundation of absolute trust in your partner.

Step Four

Patience

Don’t judge your partner, and when judged, take it in with an open mind. Examine the point of view unbiased and with desire to find the truth. Realize you have been wrong before, you just may be wrong again in your life, you think? It’s reflex to throw your defenses up when accused. DON’T. If you want this person to be your soul mate you both need to learn to deal with each other completely openly and with no defenses. Next time you think of manipulating your partner, stop and think, what right do you really have? Don’t fall into the trap of telling yourself, “Well, they are my soul mate, it’s harmless” because then what right do you have to express yourself unmanipulated?

Step Five

Live your life

Keep all these things in mind, but perhaps most importantly is that you be who you are. Don’t try to conform because you think you want a certain type of relationship so you have to be a certain way. If you aren’t yourself, wouldn’t it be conceivable that your partner didn’t really fall in love with you, but someone else that you pretended to be? If you like acting, become an actor, don’t let it be the basis your relationship is started on. If you really want someone to see you the way you see yourself, then be yourself, and be happy with who you are.